seen it all part two

If you missed part one scroll down a page or so to the last post.



G immediately loses his cool. None of the contingency plans covered this. He starts to insist whatever we do we can't keep staring at the mustache and yet I can't seem to make myself look away. What do you do when someone says don't look down? you look down! When teachers tell you not to look directly at the sun? You look into the sun!

G: "look away don't stare that is rude!"

P: "ohhhhh bet you wish you were looking at the cleavage now dont you?"

G: "Quit playing around P, I need help here, help me turn"

P: "Nope can't help you.before long the eyes will be listening to ME again!(evil laugh)

This went on for what felt like an eternity. Finally, and with herculean effort I manage to turn away and face the man at the table again. I almost hear as much as sense G collapsing on the couch weary and drained. It is at this point that I am reminded of a certain episode of seinfeld. I swear at times my life IS seinfeld. I am also reminded of the saying 'out of the frying pan and into the fire."

The contingencies covered cleavage.

The contingencies covered failure to make eye contact.

If eye contact fails, look out the window.

If the window fails, look at the floor and so on.

The contingencies did NOT cover female mustaches but all in all G handled it pretty well on the fly.

I was soon to find out the contingencies also made no mention of "Moobies", or "mitties" or whatever other term you can come up with for man breasts but this guy had em. He had em in spades and was in serious need of a 'bro' or a 'mansier'.

P: "G?, you there buddy, get off the couch and turn us again, remember cleavage? eye contact!
contingency A) floor! Contingency B, window!"

G: ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz..........

P: "brain? how bout a little help here?"

B: "huh? what? what is going on? P, are you playing the cleavage game again?"

P: "G has passed out and he forgot to turn control back over to me, turn fool turn,,,,,look AWAY from the light!"



I narrowly managed to do so, though I can't really say I remember how. I am fairly sure the damage to my eyesight is not permanent.


Where are they now you may ask?

P? P went 'turtle' after this incident. I haven't heard from him since and am beginning to wonder if I ever will again. It is not known for sure whether he is in hiding, recovery, deserted in the face of the enemy, or what. If he doesn't turn up in a few days I may be forced to ask Rosie what happened after I blacked out. On the bright side, I have discovered sitting down to pee really isn't all that bad.

G? G woke up, recovered fairly well, and is just enjoying the time without P around for a while. At the same time he kind of misses the daily arguments.


B, immediately went to work on updating all contingency plans for future use. He wonders if men will get as upset about the the term 'mits' as their female counterparts seem to. He is also not sure whether to refer to them as Measts, Mreasts, or just stick with male breasts.

The little girl, wound up coloring a really nice picture and hanging it up in the hallway of the restaurant. I still can't bring myself to look at it for fear of causing a flashback of some kind.

Onion rings have been permanantly removed from the menu.


The parents? Safe to say they got free onion rings and who knows how much more. I don't know if they will be back, but if so the other manager is in for a rude awakening. G argued for a while that she should be warned ahead of time, but ultimately gave in to the 'misery loves company' strategy and agreed to keep quiet.


and sometimes you think you have seen it all.


BD

Because even if you can't be smart you can always be a smartass.