Sunday, June 24, 2007

mixed feelings

Fair warning: this is a rare (very rare for me in fact) "drunk post". Therefore, any rambling I will attribute to that instead of my normal tendency to ramble in general.

I am getting settled into my new home and I have to admit that it is growing on me. Like pretty much anything else in life, it has its(note to the likes of fringes I just had to backspace and elimintate the apostrophe in that word) positives and its(note: see previous note) negatives.


It is quiet out here. UNBELIEVably quiet.

Do I have any volunteers to come drive by in the middle of the night? Could you do things like A) honk your horn. B) yell obscenities("hey mother F**ker get your ass in the house and leave that ho alone" )specifically would help me till I adjust to the quiet life. I think it would help me to sleep in the meantime. Hey what can I say, some people need whale music to relax and sleep, I being a city boy, may need 'city music'.

C)If you could manage to somehow get a police helicopter to hover in my neighborhood once a week or so that would be all that much better. I would sleep like a baby I am afraid.

I am finally getting back to relatively normal. I have internet access, sattelite hookup, and as of a few hours ago even wireless capability. This may not sound like much to the average joe and to me as recently as two weeks ago it wouldn't have seemed like a big deal to me either. However, after almost two weeks without any of the above they seem like huge steps to me. I guess it is all relative after all. As we speak I am sitting in the living room watching the baseball game, and typing this post on my laptop. In a couple of days I will have my new furniture delivered and be able to do so in comfort THEN I will be in heaven.

I could say a lot more, but discretion(or having to pee) being the better part of valor I shall close for now. May even delete this when sober me sees it tommorrow but for now I guess it shall stay posted.


Saturday, June 23, 2007

slow but steady

Finally made some progress. Took forever, but I now have internet access and am back again. Still working on the whole setting up the wireless and such. For now the ole desktop will have to do I suppose. To think the thought of using a ahem cough desktop computer cough cough, a week ago would have seemed akin to

1)using a television without a remote. (it should be noted I will watch an hour of the teletubbies just to avoid getting up to change the channel should the remote be out of reach or eaten by the couch.) You say 'lazy', I say 'conserving my energy for more important things'.......tomayyyyto ......tomahhhhto. Or as they are more likely to say in biffy,,,,,,,,,mayter ,,,,,,,vs. mahhhhter

2)going back to using a reel to reel tape.

3) using a vcr instead of tivo. pshhhhaw!

And yet here I am. After two full weeks of doing almost totally without, the desktop doesn't seem quite so awful. I guess what that boils down to, is apparently I have missed all you crazy peeps and must be glad to be back.

Hope to make the rounds tomorrow night (or more likely Sunday) and get caught up. Hope you are all doing well.

Hopefully you have enjoyed the piece and quiet while you had the chance!


Sunday, June 10, 2007


I am in the process of becoming an official BIFFY-ite. I may very well be dead center in the middle of no where. Just kidding. I KNOW I won't have internet for at least a week or 10 days. Have to show them all the other spiffy new inventions first.

Things like,

Running water.....


the wheel......

Sliced bread.....

you get the idea.

Quick observations about living in the country that I have picked up on already.

1: Country bugs are a hell of a lot bigger and meaner than city bugs. I stepped on a beetle, and I swear it shook it off and went on about his way. I think he may have even laughed at me.

2: Stars........Kind of neat to see them somewhere other than on television.

3: Remember the questions I sent out to the universe a couple of weeks ago? Apparently, the universe is trying to send me some answers. I am seeing wild rabbits pretty much every night I go to the new house. One was even sitting on my front porch and barely blinked when I climbed my steps. If he is there again tonight, I am getting some damned answers!

Random thoughts:

1)-I'm sitting in Krystals (in my former hometown), typing up this post. The guy two tables over has used the word "exactly" no less than 8 times in the 11 minutes he has been here.

Example: "I know exactly what that girl is like."

"I know exactly where she comes from, her family, friends, her type."

"I know exactly where he was and with who."

"I will tell you exactly what to do."

2)-"I will stop in Krystals on my way to my last trip to the old place(hopefully) for a few minutes" has turned quickly into "it's been an hour and damn I am comfortable, I don't wanna'.

3)- Recently overheard conversation

Jim: "what do you usually get when you eat at taco bell?

Larry: "I usually get a burrito, and two tacos."

Eddie: "Oh man, I ALWAYS get three tacos, and cinnamon krisps."

Jim: "what about you Jenny?"

Jenny: "what do I always get?" (short pause)..............."Diarreah."

If I don't see you before then, have a good week everyone.


Sunday, June 03, 2007

Lazy Sunday

And there ain't nuttin wrong with that. I have done very little to nothing today at all. As we speak I am sitting on my couch watching my Redsox take on our most bitter rival the yankees. I headed to Home Depot to pick up a few things to fix a sink at work. I have been more or less forced to become somewhat of the 'fixit man' at work as of late, which if you know me(or any male in my family) is pretty bizzarre. Most men have some sort of 'fixit gene' in them. Me? Yeah, I don't have that and never have. I am not sure if it is genetic or not, but I blame it all on my dad since none of us boys seem to have gotten that specific gene.

At times this really sucks, like when a simple washer needs to be replaced on a sink and I have to call the plumber. In other ways it is great. I mean it doesn't take many episodes of "bd can you change the washer in the sink" turning into "have to replace all the plumbing in the house disasters" to make people (mom, girlfriends, co-workers etc;) stop asking you to fix anything or help them do any kind of fixing job. Now, should a sink need replacing in the other room and I just sit on the couch watching the game, not only do I not get screamed or nagged at, I get praised so it isn't all bad.

Even more so, I take solace in the fact that no matter how bad I am, I am not the worst of em. I recall a time when I was VERY young my oldest brother borrowed a friend of his old volkswagen bug. This thing was fairly souped up for a bug, or at least as much as a bug can be. Bugs, if you don't happen to know have the engine in the back for some reason. Why? I have no idea, but I suspect it being a german car and Germans being known for drinking is more than mere coincidence. Anyways, this thing had the engine all shiny and souped up sticking out of the back and for whatever reason, the muffler stuck straight up vertically off of the engine. My brother, after using this car wanted to fill it up with gas before returning it.

Which he proceeded to pump directly into the tailpipe.

Safe to say he never got to borrow that car again. Like I said, no matter how bad I may be, at least I am not the worst.

I also watched the movie Deja vu.

I considered watching it again, but A)it wasn't all that good and B)it's called 'deja vu' so clearly that isn't necessary is it?

I DID manage to fall asleep on the couch and sleep just long enough to miss the latest installment of Mr. Fab's show. Oh well, now that I have an ipod I can download it and listen on my way to Biffy tommorrow. This being a lazy day, I will cut this post relatively short and leave you with this. I found the link in fabs comment section thanks to a commentor named Grainne. Enjoy, but you may want to move the kids out of the room before playing it.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.


Saturday, June 02, 2007

Rabbits a plenty

Alynda has a post up about her new bunny Ricky whom she thinks is a girl. Or was it her new bunny Ricki whom she thinks is a boy? DAMN you short term memo....


What was I saying?

To the three of you that read that, thank you. To the one of you who actually got it, please splain it to me cause I am not really sure that I did. So anywhooo,,,,,,alyndabear is talking about getting her rabbit 'fixed'. I still disagree with this phrasing all this time later. Worse yet it seems to have spread to australia as they say the same thing. You can see what I mean about disagreeing with this phrasing by reading this old post which was one of the VERY first ones I ever did. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same.

So anywhooo, Alynda's post got me to thinking all kinds of crazy shit about Rabbits. Picture this. A community(colony? herd? bunch? Flock?) Let's start with that.

Question #1)What the hell is a group of rabbits called?

Anyways, a LOT of freaking Rabbits. All of them going about life as usual. Rabbit couple # one only has sex once a week or month. Do the other rabbits, laugh, point, and say something along the lines of "those two? Yeah they screw Like humans."?

In contrast, Rabbit couple #2 cant seem to keep their paws off of each other. I mean even by rabbit standards these two really REALLY go at it! When their peers get together to talk about them, they can't exactly say "those two screw like a couple of rabbits" so what the HELL do THEY say?

Rabbit girl # 3, is lonely. QUITE lonely and enduring one hell of a dry spell. If she goes to the rabbit community sex toy shop out of desperation, what kind of top selling vibrator does SHE ask for?

If a male rabbit goes around talking about all of the sex he has had, is he considered to be bragging or just considered a to be a rabbit?

If one of the members of the rabbit community happens to be a magician.....what the hell would HE pull out of his hat?

When rabbits tell their children of the tortoise and the hare, do you think they fudge the story and make it so that the rabbit wins the race?

If so, is that really even a story worth telling? It's a tortoise for goodness sakes!

What do rabbits carry around for good luck?

Ohhhhh boy, I just realized two things. 1) it is 230 am and I HAVE to get to bed.


2) Man I hope my mom doesn't read this post.

Night all,