Saturday, January 27, 2007

My farts dont stink

Please forgive me if I begin to F.A.R.T on your blog. Just a quick note to those whose blogs I frequent on a regular basis. Often I find myself visiting these blogs, reading the posts and just simply don't have anything to add to the discussion. However, at the same time I kind of feel rude NOT leaving a comment. Therefore, I have come up with a possible solution. Michael over at Cardiac Fantasies and I have kind of come to an unspoken agreement. Since it is unspoken perhaps I have interpreted it wrong. You will have to ask him but here is my view of it. Often he will post something. I will go over and read it, and while enjoying it not really have anything to say on the matter. I am pretty sure he does the same thing sometimes when he reads one of my posts. Perhaps he is even rendered speechless, or gets so busy thinking about how much of an idiot I am, that he forgets to respond. I am not sure which of us started it(I think it was him), but at some point we began simply saying "nice post duuuuude" and that was it.
It was our way of saying,

'I was here'

I read

I (maybe in his case while visiting my blog) even enjoyed


I don't know what to say.

In my case it often means

I have no smart arsed comment to reply with,,,,the well is dry......perhaps I am coming down with something.......could be the world is about to end.....


I don't want to say nothing soooooo

"nice post dude",,,,,submit comment.

When I get that comment from him that is the way I take it. Right or wrong I don't really know for sure. However, when I leave that comment for him, that is exactly how I mean it at least.

I have thought about doing this with several other blogs that I frequent, but I am not sure it will be taken the right way or if frankly 'they won't just think I am a an idiot."

Therefore, I have been trying to come up with another version. Something a bit more 'catchy'.

Something perhaps a bit witty even. Something comical.

So I asked myself, Self: what are some things that are almost universally funny?

Well a good shot to the nuts will always be funny providing they are someone else's nuts. Don't beleive me? Find me one episode of America's Funniest home videos that doesn't contain at least three or four of them. Then tell me you don't laugh even if you KNOW what is about to happen. Granted, women laugh even harder than men, but hey I can't say that I blame them.

Someone else's nuts equals funnnny. Your nuts? Not so much!

The only problem with this is it is hard to come up with a comment related acronym for that one.

G.S.T.N? Not to mention That doesn't spell anything.

Farting ,,,,,,,farting will always be funny. Oh relax all you miss manners types out there just simmer down for a moment. I don't care if your child farts in the middle of church,dinner, or a church dinner in a crowded restaurant. Sure you may admonish him/her for it, but don't tell me when you get home you don't laugh your ass off when you think about it and noone can see you. Don't tell me you won't retell that story for years, perhaps even at his/her wedding and laugh again and again.

I don't care if you are 3 or 833, farts are funny. Farting, even in the middle of church equals at least mildyly funny. Holding your significant others head down on the pew and farting on it? Not so much.

Note: Chick I am talking to you, so leave Redneck alone!

With that in mind I present to you my new 'no comment, comment.'


F ailing
R esponse
T oday

I may even go with another version, stop by and simply say "I.F.A.R.T."

I m
F ailing
A t
R esponding
T oday


I m
F orgoing
R esponse
T oday

Some people go around saying "I heart you",,,,,,,,Me? I may go around saying "I.F.A.R.T you" instead.

To review: This means

A) I was at your blog
B) I read your post
C) I may or may not have something to say about it, but am currently drawing a blank.
D) I don't want to say "no comment" and leave
E) I don't want to say nothing at all and just leave either.

These kinds of things sometimes cause people to ask "BD, are you mad at me?" No, no usually not mad at all, just have no response at the moment. Now I DO. "I.F.A.R.T" you.

For those of you still sitting there with a look of disgust on your face, consider this.

At least "smellivision has still not yet been invented."

See? the glass is indeed half full!



Nothingman said...

Thats a rocking idea man, cuz indeed it happes so, as you have said in your post.
well...since I have nothing more intelligent to say...

Chris said...


(Ripped 1)

Have a great weekend!
My Blog

Michael Thomas said...

Sounds like a plan. It's shorter than Nice Post Dude. But Now I have to reprogram my macro. *g*

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

What a fantastic idea! I'm a terrible one for reading and not contributing, but this is the solution. Of course, since I don't really fart, I will have to find something else;>

fringes said...

Too funny.

Q said...

BD, that was great, funny!
Love the blog!

christine said...

lol only you. Only you would come up with something like this. Oh well, I guess a FART from you would be better than nothing. But I don't believe they don't stink!

LaLa said...


GoGo said...

OMG, and I thought all the good fart jokes were had.

Tears in my eyes...oh I mean I.F.A.R.T you.