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Just a few quick notes before I shuffle off to hell work.My recent post titled "Pass the chips" brought about quite a few comments. A lot of them were from women quickly pointing out that men had our share of drama as well. While I agree with that sentiment to a degree, there was a difference which I couldn't quite put my finger on. They are indeed the same, and yet different in some way. Then Christine who works in a predominately male environment, summed it up pretty well with one word. "EGO".
One word to sum up working with a lot of women? drama.
One word to sum up working with or around a lot of men? Egos
Sure there are men that display their share of drama and women who most certainly have egos, but for the most part I think these descriptions are fairly accurate, thanks Christine.
Links, comments:
I have added a few new links to my sidebar of blogs that I tend to enjoy. Check them out if you like and have the time to do so. What? you are at work and don't have time? Well which one is it?
Speaking of links and even comments, I am curious of what people's thoughts on them are in general. One of my favorite bloggers recently had to temporarily suspend comments due to one troll causing trouble. I have had comment moderation turned off for the last month or so and so far so good. .....knock on wood. I have never felt the need to delete a single comment in the year that I have been doing this since I consider a comment, even if it is one that disagrees with me to be a bit of a compliment.
Commenting policy:
Dear Trolls:Feel free to comment here if you like. Feel free to disagree with me as much as you want. Feel free to dish it out(at me) as much as you like as well as long as you are willing to 'take it'. Part of 'being willing to take it' mind you requires you at least grow a pair and not sign in under anonymous before spouting your mindless drivel. What I won't do however, is allow you to attack someone else on my blog. Other than that all comments are(and have been to this point) a go.
Linking policy:
Speaking of links, Everyone seems to have their own ways of handling comments and links and such. If I consider a comment as somewhat of a compliment(even when it isn't), then I would have to say I consider a link to be a very LARGE compliment. As such I tend to add links only to sites that
1)I really enjoy, and/or think people who come here will enjoy as well.
2) That I really DO read on a regular basis.
I see some sites that have a blogroll 4 miles long and often find myself thinking 'there is no way that person reads that many blogs.' If they do I envy them for their amount of free time. This to me is the blog version of someone telling me my hair looks nice today, only to stand and watch them tell the same thing to the guy with the toupee or the 3 hair combover.
I have noticed on some sites and even some blogs a trend that I must say bothers me a bit. It can be best described as 'here you link me and I will link you' exchange. I have to say that I have ZERO interest in doing this. If someone is interested in having me add a link to your blog feel free to drop me a line and ask me to check it out. I am always interested in new reading material. If you would like to link to me, by all means go for it. However, if me linking you back is a prerequisite to you linking to me I am not interested anymore than I am interested in linking someone else and then insisting they return the 'favor'.
As I said, I consider links to be quite a compliment. The link exchange thing to me is akin to saying to someone "I will tell you YOUR butt looks great if you will tell me mine looks great too."
That is not to say that if I haven't added a link to you already that 'I don't really like your blog'. In many cases, 1)I haven't been reading it long enough to know for sure it should be added. 2)Often I HAVE decided to add it, and being the lazy ass procrastinator that I am haven't gotten around to doing so yet. More often than not it is #2.
Bottom line: If you want to link me do, if you don't don't. I have no intention of asking for one and beleive me, having a link from Briliant donkey is NOT going to inflate your readership by more than two anyways. What are YOUR linking,commenting policies? How do you best handle trolls? Am I over reacting to all this or do you feel about the same? I am just curious.
BD
Monday, February 05, 2007
random blog stuff
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24 comments:
As for the assessment of men and women, I'd say that's probably right. I'd say working around predominantly males would lead me to a lot of eye-rolling because they can do and say some stupid stuff to each other that I, as a woman, will never quite "get". Having actually worked in groups that are predominantly female, I'd agree that there can be a great deal of drama, which I'm not particularly interested in.
Comments? As long as I can see people are still reading my blog, then I don't feel the need for comments. I still LOVE getting comments (who doesn't, really?), but it won't bother me so much any more if a post doesn't have many...or any, I guess. I've deleted very few comments in my bloglife. Some spam, a few duplicates, and one that linked to a place where my anonymity would have been compromised, which is a huge no-no on my blog.
Linking? I link to blogs I actually enjoy reading. Since signing up for Google Reader, it's gotten easier to have a multitude of blogs I include in my reading material. I have no exchange policy, either, and also agree that it seems to lessen the value of the linkage if it's done simply as return favors.
Links and comments....humm....I value comments on my blog and always make it a point to reply if they say something interesting, mainly because people are taking their precious time out to first read and then write a comment, so ofcourse respect has to be given for that....
and linking....I link a blog if I find it cool and regularly updated, its ncie if they link me back, if not then well....no probs.
Many times its not like "butt praise thing" but more like a tool for reaching out and letting someone know, other times its just butt praise...what else would explain the success of bestestblogofalltime...that bobby guy.
Oh and by the way you are not linkning to my blog ;) and your word verification is ON...
my word: tnhaa
enjoy man:)
N
I just link to peoples blogs who come to mine and interacted with me. The list is at like 6.
I hate word verification more than life itself, normally I would not even link to a blog that has word verification turned on but I like yours so I do it anyways. That my friend is a huge compliment...
I don't have an exchange policy - probably because no one has ever asked me to exchange links. I tend to link to others that have already linked to me, simply because we tend to be of the same general mindset and I usually enjoy their blog after I've read a few.
Comments - I use word verify because I got spammed day two of this blog. I never use comment moderation. I've only deleted one comment on my blog, simply because it had a link that was questionable, and I couldn't just delete the link from the comment.
Most of the bloggers I read try their best to make some kind of response to each comment, even if it's short and sweet. I consider comments a compliment simply because I've written something that someone thought was interesting enough to comment on. It really bugs the crap out of me when you go to someone's blog and comment, and they never respond or even make note of it. I can imagine blogs like Barmaid Blog, Waiter Rant, and even Mist to some extent not being able to acknowledge every comment. Anything over fifty or seventyfive a day, I wouldn't be able to respond. But when there is 3 comments on a blog, and you get no response, I truly wish you would just turnoff the comments and spare me the time and trouble of saying something.
woo woo: Men can say some stupid things? Nah!!!! I do find it funny that men can call each other pretty much any name in the book and have it be almost a term of endearment. For example:
"Hey jackass" how's it going?
"not bad you piece of shit, how are the wife and kids?"
This used to boggle my sis in laws mind when she would hear my brother and I talk to each other. She would just shake her head and walk away.
Nothingman: I always try to reply to comments as well if there is something to respond to . Sometimes I forget, but I am fairly good at it (at least i THINK I am). Yes I know my Word verification is on. I have had it set that way from day one in order to avoid the spam robots. Since I am curious though, I just turned that off too just to see if it even IS a problem. We shall see.
Q: I am slowly but surely getting to where I hate the Word verification thing myself(specially since I ALWAYS get it wrong the first time.) The only thing I hate more is "telemarketers' or spammers so I 'get' the need for it. I have just turned mine off to see how it goes.
Michael: I couldn't agree more. I don't know how the hell Mist does it though I suspect she gets free shoes or vodka based on the number of comments she responds to. As far as not getting a response to my comments: It doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I visit so many blogs now, I barely remember who I commented to or where to go back and check to see if they said anything. I DO try to respond to all of my commentors here though. Then again in fairness to the likes of Debra,waiterrant and the like, my readership is 3 theirs is 400 so I can see why they don't.
BD
I read all of the blogs on my blogroll. You can tell that I do deeply important work.
I link when I remember to do so, or when someone reminds me that I read them all the time, but that I don't have a link up. I love blogrolls. I love going through people's blogrolls, but I'm not that good at keeping mine up to date.
As for trolls, I am remaining silent on this one. It hits a little too close to home.
I link to anyone that I check on a near daily basis. I can't say daily because I rarely get online on the weekends.
In all honesty, unless I'm feeling kind of stalkerish and go through other people's blog rolls, I don't notice if I've been added to anyone's. (thanks for the link, btw ;) lol)
Ah trolls. I don't do the word verification just because it annoys me and I always end up typing the words wrong when I'm replying to comments left. I normally leave the trolls a few tasty virgins at the door, though, and it keeps the peace.
I link to people whose blogs I like to read, and most of the time they end up linking to me too. If I really like their blog and want to be affiliated with them, then after a while if they still haven't linked to me I'll humble myself and drop 'em a hint.
As for the evil-commenting numbnuts, I just tell 'em I know who they are and where to find them. They usually stop the nonsense after that.
Comments. I only moderate because I don't like word verification and I have been to lazy to write a spam catcher that works. Hell I've allowed a white supremist to comment on my site because I've criticized his blog and thought it would only be fair to let him try and respond. So moderation has never meant weed out the people I dislike or disagree with.
As for links I am completely like you. I only link to daily reads. When I want to read something different I actually follow Mist's blogroll or Malnutured Snay's depending on the mood I am in.
I like how you break down your roll into categories.
i gotta admit pass the chips did not start the debate i was expecting but i agree. i think christine hit the nail on the head with that one. as for linking and comments, i don't have a blog myself, i wouldn't have a clue what to write about, so most of the issues regarding links and comments i have no opinion on. i will say that word verification was never a problem for me, i made a game out of it, making it either an acronym or misspelling of something. it does seem to me that the point you were trying to get across is that you are trying to run your site with honesty and honor, which i appreciate since most of my blog reading has been found through blog rolls of bloggers i enjoy. if i could only remember how i found the original.
Dear BD,
Your hair AND butt looks great today.
Much love,
Alyndabear
I dig getting comments and I read a lot of blogs and comment every day. I link to anyone who gives me one, but I don't have a policy per se. I actually keep my daily reading list in my live bookmarks in FF.
I think I've only moderated like two comments, Askimet or whatever it's called does a pretty good job.
I'm sooooo late to the discussion. And I missed breakfast this morning. If there are indeed any chips left to pass, please do so in my direction.
Thanks for always commenting on my blog. Your monthly commenter's payment is late, but I'll just combine it with the March payment. Thanks for understanding.
I think you are totally right!!! Politics can be a bitch and I have to deal with it all the time at my job. Working with caddy women, I am never like that. Even if I did not like someone at work I would never treat them badly or talk about them...just not my style...We are out of high school...and I work with Male Dr.s' that have Egos that have to be stroked or you can't get what you need for patients sometimes...It's crazy world out there...
I try and talk about the Trolls with my friends and family get it out of my system and then I look like I am dealing just fine and I never sink to their level...Every one can't love you, but the people that do can help you not get down on yourself...remember..your fabulous just the way you are...everyone is special and unique in their own way...I choose to see the glass have full...not have empty...just reading your blog I can clearly see that your extremely talented and smart...funny and I know that you have the support from blog land...which I have found to be very theraputic..why everytime I read mist1 blog I laugh my arse off...thanks for stopping by my blog..I'll be back that is for sure..good luck hon..Just know that I am a nurse so I alway sound cheesy but I mean well...
hey bd! what were you drinking when you read mist's last post? i must have been drinking the same thing cause i had the same reaction to couriouskitty's screen name lol
make that curiositykiller, gotta check out her bridezilla post
Mist: I beleive you. Just seeing the way you respond to all comments blows me away. You are like the blog version of a super hero..
Susan: Actually, yours was one of the ones i was referring to when I said "sometimes i just havent gotten around to linking it yet'. Guess I forgot I already had done so. Short term memory, first to go.......what was I talking about?
Waveman: I have found quite a few of my regular reads via mists blog. ALL of them have been found through others blogrolls, which is why I am fairly picky about who I put in mine. There are several others that I have in my 'favorites' for a while to keep reading before deciding whether to link or not.
Heather: I have noticed that you don't have a blog since I have tried clicking on your name a few times. BTW, I do the very same acronym thing. I used to play a game called acrophobia all the time, this probably stems from that.
Alynda: Welcome back, awwww you always know just what to say....though at first glance I thought for a sec you said something about my hairy butt.
Furious ball: welcome to the blog and thanks for the comment. I don't fault anyone for how they choose to do links, comments or whatnot. Just wanted to splain my thinking on them.
Fringes: commentors payment? gulp.....If I got charged by the comment I would be broke. If my longwinded self ever got charged by the word, Mustang sally would pawn herself!
Just telling it like it is: Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. VERY "high schoolish" is how it often strikes me seeing how some people act which is part of the reason it annoys me so much at times. Wow, "talented, smart, funny, and have the support of blogland" Soon as I finish paying off fringes comment bill I will pay the 'compliment bill' as well. Do you do layaway?
Heather: As I often say to peeps.....seeing that you do something the same way that EYE do/see it does NOT eliminate the possibility of you being crazy. It just eliminates the possibility of you being both crazy AND alone. You may want to see your doctor about that(doing/thinking like me). I don't think it is fatal but surely(yes I called you shirley) isn't good!
BD
Hey, what am I, chopped liver! Sniff, I think I'll shuffle back over to Mist1's place now. she'll respond to my comments ;-)
James: Sorry, not sure how I skipped you lol. I think I started to type "JB:" and then thought 'can I call him JB? or is that a bad Idea? Next thing I knew Alynda was telling me my butt looked good, a beautiful nurse was telling me I am smart,and funny without that scarey glove popping sound coming from behind me and my head got so swolled up it hit the ceiling and knocked me unconscious. Anyways, I pretty much do the same thing but have been to stubborn to go the hint route as of yet. BTW, re: comments over on your side of the world, you are correct, prejudice was the word I was looking for at the time not racist.
BD
no blog yet, kinda thinking on it more now though after michael's last post.... maybe, not sure if i'm that brave.
No worries, BD - and yes you can call me JB; everyone else does, including Mrs. B - I knew what you meant.
But over on Burnettiquette, since Big Daddy was there first, I may have to call you BD2 or B2D or some other variation ;-)
james, how about sad, smartass donkey? you ok with that one bd?
Heather you should start one if that is what you want to do. I mean look at me I have like 3 readers and only two of them think I suck so it isn't as bad as the scariness makes you think it is.
James: BD2 works for me. Sounds like I was trying to do a 'hooked on phonics works for me' commercial but the bd2 was just easier to say.
Heather: Sad? not sure where that came from. But okay that works for me.
BD
smartass donkey,(sad) i'm working on an idea for a blog, give me a month or so cause i want to wait untill j has his computer built. he has a tendancy to change browsers, settings and whatever else and i'm clueless as to how to proceed. all in due time.
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