Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Advice from me to me

Fringes stole this Idea from woo-woo, who stole it from someone else who......well you get the idea. Anywhoooooo now it is my turn to steal so here goes. Some brutally honest advice to myself.

Memo to self:

1-You know that whole 'nice guys finish last' saying? It may be true whether you choose to admit it or not. You have fought it long enough and valiantly I might add but it is time to compromise at least a bit.

2-You are right, "If you hate the person you become to avoid being TOO nice then it kind of defeats the purpose. You don't have to go into full blown 'prick' mode and turn into one of the guys you despise, but you don't need to be a sucker either. Find that line, stay on this side of it, but don't be afraid to get a little closer to it.

3-While things between you are 'good' it may be time to admit they aren't ever going to get where you want them to get to. You gave the space, you gave the 'time to figure things out'. You've heard all the 'confused' stuff, the 'just need time' stuff and been quite patient and understanding about it all. You've been reeled in, you've been pushed away many times over and taken it all in stride in the belief that eventually she would see the light. Two and a half years is enough. Time for her to shit or git off the pot.

4-"shit or git off the pot' huh? Yup yer in biffy now!

5-I know you won't listen to #3 outright so I will compromise. Give it more time, but set a date and stick to it. Major change,,,,,,,or Major change. Time to quit hearing that 'inner voice' and start listening to it (at least sometimes).

6-That whole 'finally making the leap of faith job changing' thing you went for 5 months ago. GggggggggREAT move! see? sometimes change CAN be good.

7-Re: the clean shaven look you have been contemplating forEVER. I know you haven't been hairless since you were 15 or so, but go for it. You DO know it grows back if you don't like it right?

twenty minutes later...

8-hmmmmm how long will this take to grow back?

9-As for writing, it is time to jump over the hurdle and take the next step. Submit at least a few of those short stories damn you! You will learn that contrary to your belief, rejection actually WON'T kill you.

10-That whole 'three kids, a dog, and a house' thing? Doesn't seem to be in the cards. Who knows why, but there it is. Time to move on to plan B. Retire when you are 50. Now get busy.

gitttttter done!



alyndabear said...

Definitely get around to submitting your stuff. You're so right, what's the worst that could happen? It gets knocked back. So.. then you just astound them with MORE of your work. Just keep swimming... ;)

I'm absolutely not mentioning hairy butts in this comment. Dangit. All your fault.

I shall steal this idea from you soon, as there is only so much teacher blogging people can take! ;)

Michael Thomas said...

The worst part is, letting go and realizing you aren't ever going to be where you want to be is the hardest thing in the world. You have to keep dreaming while diving in an ice cold pool of water to cleanse your previous delusions.

Susan said...

I'll have your 3 kids, BD. We'd better get

On a more serious note, #3 is a hard one. Good luck hon..

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

I'll second your advice to yourself in #3.

And you can definitely still have the 3 kids, a dog, and a house...but retiring at 50 ain't a half-bad idea, either;>

Roadchick said...

The 'chick hears inner voices too - but hers usually want to go to McDonald's.

Hey - good luck & remember - we're here for you.

(The 'chick wants to read some stories!!! Email them. Please???)

fringes said...

Great list. Good idea for setting a timetable. Stop stealing from me. Heh. I kid because I love.

Killer said...

I actually could cut and paste a lot of your ideas for my own.

Are you really you, or are you another personality to add to my many. Damn this schizophrenia.

briliantdonkey said...

Alynda: I make one comment about the hairy butt comment and that is the end of em?

Michael: agreed it is tough to do, but if it were someone else I would be pointing out how 'obviously it needed to be done'

Susan: How does saturday night sound?

Woo woo: Not giving up on it by any stretch of the imagination. I am just admitting to myself that it MAY not happen. Since the idea of being relegated to an 'every other weekend' father is among my worst fears I suppose there are worse possibilities.

Chick: When I get to that point I will do that. They (the few that are actually close to done) have more than a bit of cleaning up to do.

Fringes: that would be 'stealing from you ALLEGEDLY!"

Killer: That depends is it wednesday or thursday? Night or day?

heather said...

didn't want you to think i skipped this post, just working on my own memo and voluteering unsuspecting gentlemen for things they'd rater not do. you're not the only one bd, right now j (hubby) is helping his dad plow out 1/2 of adams center. at least you get to stay warm.

Michael Thomas said...

BD - Check your email. Someone would like to post something to your comments but wants to run it by you first.

heather said...

1st a disclaimer. by rights this should be an entry in my blog,but since that dosen't exist bd has graciously given me permission to post it here. thanks go to michael for being my middle man.

memo to self
1.) stop lying!
life changes. if you're sad be sad, but when you're glad act glad. don't leave your daughter with the damage you have.
2.) ask for it!
ask for what you want, ask for what you need. they don't have esp, your mind they can't read.
3.) listen damn it!
f**k that ugly aide in your ear. your communication sucks 'cause you don't listen, not 'cause you can't hear.
4.) practice what you preach!
stop yelling at her for not cleaning her room. when was the last time you washed a dish, picked up a broom?
5.) get up!
the pounds won't drop, if on the couch you plop from morning to afternoon. pick up an apple, toss the junk food and move your butt from room to room.
6.)stand up!
quit leaning on j to fix the problems. work with him and help him solve them.