What can I still become
Hello, everybody, this is brilliant donkey yet again. I told you the story last week of Eric Evans and his being visited in a dream by Jeremiah. To tell the truth, that dream and that story affected me more than I would have imagined, but more on that later. This week’s prompt in Sunday Scribblings is kind of a continuation of last week’s. It is “Who else can I still be?” For me that answer is simple. However, that question doesn’t quite do the job of what I want it to. If you are here again, I will take that as a sign that you don’t think that I have totally lost it. If you are here again, I will choose to ignore the possibility that you simply clicked on the wrong link again. Like I said, that story affected me a good bit and made me decide to make some changes. Changes for the better I can only hope. In case you missed it, and you would like to take a look yourself and hear this story it can be found a few posts back or by clicking here (http://briliantdonkey.blogspot.com/2006/08/things-could-have-been-different.html)
To me, this prompt doesn’t quite do the job after hearing this story. Therefore, I am going to slightly modify it to say “what WILL I still become?” I was quite scared after that story, though it took me a while to admit it. I worried about all the things I myself hadn’t believed. I worried about all the things that I had blown off and the consequences of such. This was really depressing at first until I decided to start doing something about it. Some of the changes I have made are as follows:
I quit smoking immediately and constantly checked to see if I had grown any or worse yet if I was shrinking. I began being more careful about where I walked, and called in to check on my mother everyday to make sure she was okay. I even stopped drinking, though that didn’t last. Since I only have three hairs on my chest any ways I figured I could use that one to my advantage. Don’t ask me how much time I have spent in the mirror checking for new ones, trust me you don’t want to know. Needless to say it was a bit of a trying time for me. And then it dawned on me. If all these bad so called ‘myths’ were actually possible then couldn’t it also be true that the good ones were as well?
Struck by this revelation, I immediately began doing a lot of research. I emptied out my inbox, scoured my memory, and went on determined to look at the glass as half full. So, “what can I still become?” No, the question is now more like what WILL I become? And my answers are as follows.
I WILL be rich! I will be rich beyond my wildest dreams though it won’t happen over night. Until then though, Bill Gates is going to send me $45,000 dollars for each of the ten people I forward his email to. 45,000 times 724 and counting, YOU do the math.
I worried for a moment that I would be hungry from spending all that time at the computer but that turns out not to be a problem. After all, the M &M Company and the fine folks at Ben and Jerry’s WILL be sending me all I can handle for doing the same email thing.
I worried for a moment, that all this food would make me fat. However, I know now that won’t happen. As I was driving home the other day I saw a sign “lose 45 pounds in 3 days” and get this, it is GUARANTEED! So bring on the fat, I now know how to handle it!
Also, I will never have to worry about shopping for clothes again. Nike and Neiman Marcus after all will be glad to send me free shoes and clothes.
I spent the day walking around and looking for pennies. I ended up finding 7 of them and six were on heads! It was however kind of hard to pick them up being as my fingers were all crossed but hey a little perseverance paid off. How much good luck can one person expect?
I quit my job and decided you know what? I DO want to make $4500 a week on my own time just by stuffing envelopes!
I WILL get in shape and be stronger than ever before, yeah yeah, keep all the “well that don’t take much” comments to your self.
I will have buns of steel because I just ordered the tape.
I will have six pack abs and in just 9 seconds a day!
My fortune cookie told me what lottery numbers to play and so I did!
I will make me bigger, stronger, faster, smarter and richer than before. The six million dollar man ain’t gonna have SHIT on me!
They say “size doesn’t matter”, but why take the chance when the add in the paper guarantees an extra 3 inches?
Does all of this make me sound greedy? Oh no! Don’t worry; I have forwarded each of these emails to each and every one of you. I have shared your phone numbers and addresses with them as well so that YOU too can reap the benefits!
You can thank me later.
tags:Seinfeld,fat,Sunday Scribblings,Urban legend,smartass,
tags:get rich quick,waitress,drugs,humor
Monday, August 14, 2006
What can I still become
Posted by briliantdonkey at 1:23 AM