Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Crazy creatures

After careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that women are all insane. All of em! One of my best friends used to say this to me all the time. I would simply laugh a little bit, nod my head and agree. I had no idea just how right he was.

Exhibit A)
I pull in to work and walking through the parking lot I notice a strange car that I haven't seen before. Upon closer inspection I see that someone has carved the word "slut" into the hood apparently with a Key. I walk inside, and ask around about the car.

Claire:"That is mine"

Me: "Um, well, I know you have been getting harrassed lately. I hate to break it to ya, but someone has carved the word "slut" into your hood." I then back up waiting for the explosion I know is coming.

Claire: "Oh no, I did that."

Me: "YOU carved it on there? Um,,,,but why?"

Claire:(laughing),,,,,,"It's James' car not mine."

Me: "James, your boyfriend that you have been bitching and crying about for the last two weeks?"

Claire: "Yeah"

Me: "The one I seem to recall you calling a worthless cheating bastard, THAT James?"

Claire: nodding her head. "but we are back together now and he loveeeees me."

Me: "Back together?"

Claire: "yep"

Me: "with the guy you said had a 2 inch penis, still lives with his mother, and can't hold a job for more than two days. THAT James? WHY on EARTH would you get back together with that asshole?"

Claire: "Screw you! don't you be calling my man names!"

Me: "Okay, okay calm down, I am just repeating what YOU said last week."

Claire: "I know but it is different now. He is even letting me drive his car."

Me: "The one you carved the word SLUT into the hood of?"

Ohhhhh the irony.

I have always found it kind of comical yet sad to watch someone bash the hell out of their ex and then end up right back with that same person. Men do it to granted, but that doesn't make it any more understandable to me.

Crazy creatures you all are.



alyndabear said...

Sounds like she's one heck of a character.
I'd bring out the karate moves if anyone scratched ANYTHING into my car, let alone do it myself.
[goes back to scribbling all over the walls]

Susan said...

I am the leader of the nuttiest chicks out there. Trust me. I will not resist a good chapstickin' attack..

Colleen said...

Oh, please do not lump me in with that nut job!

Tera said...

BD I resent that blanket statement you made about women! Hmph!

Nina said...

Yes, we're all crazy, tera is especially crazy and that is why she is so offended!

SWF42 said...

Nope. You only hear about the nutjobs.

The rest of us are pretty sane. We're laughing with you at the psychos.

heather said...

each and every one of us has our very own brand of crazy. some of us are even blessed with more than just one kind of crazy! some of us are ~all kinds of crazy~ ...isn't that right bd?

christine said...

She's the crazy creature? What about him for still being with her, scratched hood and all? But Heather is right, we have our very own brand of crazy - I like how you put it. :)

James Burnett said...

Hey! Quit trying to analyze her actions with logic. Your head will explode and make a mess.

briliantdonkey said...

Alynda:Great to see you again. I just for the life of me can't imagine carving anything into someones car. IF somehow I did I can't see carving for instance 'dickhead' on it, and THEN driving around in it under ANY circumstances.

Susan:chapstickin attack? Maybe I haven't met the truly nutty ones.

Colleen: I can't lump you in with her. If nothing else you have a much sweeter ass.

Tera: Guilt by association,,,,kind of sucks agreed.

Nina: Welcome to the blog. Yes you all are indeed crazy. It is either all of you or ME,,,,and surely THAT is NOT possible.

SWF:Welcome back,,,,good point.

Heather: when did you start mind reading?

Christine: He is just stupid, there is a difference. She of course is both.


briliantdonkey said...

JB: logic and women......nope im not taking the bait.


heather said...

lol, i've been mind reading, just don't always feel like reading what's been written that's all.

and i was including men in the whole 'own brand of crazy' thing. yes bd, you too. need i remind you of mary? what about the stuff you do that you don't blog about? you really want to claim you're completely sane? :-)

briliantdonkey said...

Mary? What do you want to bring up Mary for? What we had was special damnit! I miss her!!!!

Do I want to claim that I am completely sane? No of course not!

Yes I am! No your not! Who me? Get the hell away from my keyboard damnit. Mary? Maryyyyyyy!!!!!

NoRegrets said...

Haven't you learned yet that it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind? (on a side note, just learned how to spell that word - thank god for auto spell check on blogger.com)

Turnbaby said...

It's just all part of the master plan sugar ;-)

Liz said...

Scratching SLUT in someone's car is very, very highschool thug. How old is this chick? Let me guess: Physical age: 27? IQ: 87?

the108 said...

I will easily confirm your suspicions that we women are, indeed, insane. It's true. So very, very true.