life imitating blogs

I have to say I am proud. Quite proud to say the least. One of our regular guests came by the Biffy diner today and dropped off a package. Nothing fancy really, just a bag full of buttons which had all sorts of slogans and catch phrases on them. This bag of goodies arrived several hours before I got there so that the morning crew had more than enough time to look through them, pick through them and get the ones that they liked the best. That said, there were still plenty left over for the night crew as well. So anyways, as I arrived for work today, I was greeted by Carla who is one of our morning waitresses. I was eventually informed by Carla about this bag, and began looking through them.


There were some lame ones, but also some like:

"what the hell happened last night", which was quickly given to a couple of servers who have a history of drinking a bit too much.

"My other car is a rolles royce" which had been put aside for the guy who has (were you to listen to him) a billion dollars yet works as a dishwasher.

"Fuck you and the horse you road in on" hadn't been claimed yet but I quickly put it aside for the one waitress who I fully expect to fire one day for following a guest out to the parking lot and asking the cheap bastard where her tip is.

Not long afterwards, Maria came in for her shift and joined me in sifting through the bag.


"I'm not blonde, I just act like it at times" she read holding up yet another of the buttons.

Not long afterwards, we were approached by the morning crew and told "you don't need to look through them, we have already picked yours out for you.

At this she handed maria one saying "Yes I am gullible."

"I am NOT gullible" she protested over and over while people were laughing.
Then she looked over at me and asked "I'm not THAT gullible am I BD?"
I pleaded the fifth and tried to avoid giggling myself.


"Don't laugh too much" Carla said looking over to me we have picked yours out as well.
Aw shit I thought as I looked at ones saying things like "how much did I drink last night." I didn't see any labled "worthless prick" ,"stupid Mother bleeep" or "lazy bastard" but worried at least a bit that they had already been removed.


And then with giggles and smiles on their faces my staff gathered around to present me with "MY" button. On it is the word "smart" and below that is a picture of an ass/donkey.
To say I was touched would be an understatement. There is simply no other reward better than the recognition of your peers. Oddly enough, to the best of my knowledge NONE of them even know about this blog.

I held my button in my hands, looked around and said, "I don't get it, Smart dog?Are yall saying I am a dog?"

Everyone else laughed except Maria who looked at it, rolled her eyes and said

"It's not a dog, its an ass, DUHHHH!"

At this I simply patted her on the shoulder and responded "no Maria, you're not gullible at all!"


BD