Monday, July 16, 2007

Parts of me

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that A) I am wordy (at least when it comes to writing).

B)I am lazy. Actually, 'lazy' is not the word but I DO love to be comfortable.

These two traits which I don't deny and in fact embrace to a degree have been battling it out for supremecy as of late. Apparently the universe has decided that I have to choose which of the two I prefer the most. Wordiness or comfort? I don't have children, but liken having to make this choice to having to choose between which of my children will live. Wordiness and comfort have been so much a part of my life that they are like twins adjoined at the hip to me.

Several years ago when I purchased my desktop computer and was first setting it up it made me 'give it a name'. Most people, I would imagine would call it 'bedroom computer' or 'John's desktop'. Me? Knowing how quickly computers 'get old' named mine 'The Soon to be obsolete expensive piece of crap paper weight.' See? Wordy even in naming,That's me. Perhaps this is why I don't have children.

Even now, years later every time I log off of the desktop computer it asks me "are you sure you want to turn off the soon to be obsolete expensive piece of crap paper weight?' To which I have to click either yes or cancel.

I had forgotten all about this name I had given my desktop. Since buying my laptop about a year ago I would be surprised if I have spent a grand total of two hours using it. Instead I was sitting on the couch, on the front porch, or more likely in my lazy boy in the living room. Life was good. Life was grand.

Until I moved.

Since moving I DID manage to get my internet access back. Great!

However, for the life of me I can NOT get the wireless network set back up in my house. It worked great for a few days. The only problem then was I was unable to print from my laptop to my printer(which is connected to the desktop in the other room). I do a fair amount of work from home so nothing could be worse than having to sit at the computer desk to do it instead of in my lazyboy.

Or so I thought. Turns out, that while trying to fix THAT small problem, I made it worse.

Desktop set up,,,,,,check.

High speed modem set up and working,,,,,,,check.

Printer in the bedroom(on desktop) working.......check.

Able to print from laptop while sitting in your lazyboy? ......chec,,,,,,no wait STILL no check.

I then received word from the universe. It was/is so clear in my mind that it might as well have arrived via the postman who needs a signature to verify my receiving it.

Dear Mr Donkey:

We regret to inform you( no not really but we HAVE to say that), your request to return to your previous levels of comfort are denied. Allowing you to do so in the past was an oversight on our part of which we are now aware. As a penalty for even trying to do so, not only will we NOT allow you to print in comfort, we will no longer be able to allow you to surf in comfort either. That is right,

no more surfing much less printing from the couch.

no more surfing much less printing from your beloved lazy boy.

no more surfing much less printing from the comfort of your bed.

Oh and that surfing from the comfort of the throne room? Yes yes, we know you were tempted at times to try that as well but found it to be a bit 'too icky' ......Please be advised that should you find the idea 'no longer too icky' you are too late, so you can just forget that shit. Oh yes pun, most definitely intended.

Now that we have been made aware of your unauthorized use of said comforts, be advised that we will be watching you closely. We will allow you full use of your desktop with internet access. However, the SECOND you try to hook up your router and go wireless not only will that not work but ALL internet access(including on the desktop) will be cut off entirely. So make your choice.

Sincerely yours,

the universe.

Anywhooooo, sorry for the lack of posts as of late. Thanks to all that have checked up on me. I am doing fine. Just going through withdrawals, denial and such. Sure, throwing the monitor through the window in frustration had something to do with it as well, but not all that much. Hope to make it around to all your sites soon, even if I have to do so from this lousy desk chair and on an obsolete peice of crap paper weight.



Suz said...

Eh, I was wondering where you were. Glad things are mostly okay. I'm in the throes of moving now too...sheesh. I'll be on limited internet access for the next month, so keep your soon to be obsolete piece of crap paper weight up and running for when I return, k?

hehe...great post, BD!

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

I'm having the same issue! I don't know what happened to our wireless, but my usual unplugging and replugging is not working, and I haven't the motivation to try harder. I don't even have the desktop backup. I've had to connect my laptop with wires! I know, completely against the reason I have a laptop. Instead of lounging about and setting up in the kitchen for cooking, I am perched at the end of my bed with a wire sticking out of my laptop.

heather said...

haven't you ever heard that sometimes you have to suffer for your art??

not that this is art.

not that i think useing a desktop computer is suffering.


glad to have you back.