Sunday, July 02, 2006

Sex and the City

Television effects

So I am working at hellbee the other day. It is a fairly busy night but not overly crowded by any stretch of the imagination. A couple of ladies walk up to the bar and pull up chairs next to the few people who are already sitting there. They aren't beauty queens by any means, but they certainly aren't ugly either. I begin setting odds in my head on how long it will take the two morons on the other side of the bar to chase them away.

“how you doing tonight’’ I ask, sliding a couple of beverage napkins in front of them.

“good, but it has been a long day and I need a drink” Lady A says to which lady B agrees.

“well, you have come to the right place then, what can I get you?”

“ I will have a cosmopolitan” lady a says, and Lady B orders a glass of wine.

I head back to the service bar, make their drinks and return to set them in front of them. Lady A, who I shall refer to as Barbara, unbeknownst to her has just become a subject of my very informal study……

If you have ever watched the show “sex in the city” you know that cosmopolitans are rather popular on that show. As a bartender, I noticed long ago that sales of cosmopolitans or cosmos as many call them seemed to take an upward turn. In fact, before that show I am not sure that I had EVER made a single one. Thinking this must have been a mistake, I started actually paying attention to it since then. Anyways,,,,,I give them their space, back off and let them get settled in while checking on my other customers. A little bit later I see that their drinks are getting close to empty and head their way.

“care for another round ladies?”

They look at each other for permission(customers ALWAYS do this though I don’t know why) and agree to have another round.

Delivering their drinks again, I already know the answer, but need confirmation….

“Here you go ladies,” Setting Barbara’s Cosmo in front of her I ask.

“you watch that show sex in the city by chance?”

“Oh YES!” Barbara exclaims, “I LOVE that show!” Like I said I already knew.

Patting myself on the back in my mind I answer “thought so” and ask the next question…

“just out of curiosity, did you drink those before you saw the show?”

“No, actually I never tried one till then.”

Ding ding ding ding!!!! We have another winner!

Since paying attention to this and always asking these two questions I have noticed the following. Probably 98% of the people that order them happen to be viewers of Sex in the City. At least 80% of them when asked, say that they had never tried one before seeing the show. I sure hope Carrie,Miranda,Charlotte and Samantha get some sort of royalties from the Absolute vodka company.

On a little side note:
If i had a dime for everytime a woman has ordered a "sex on the beach" and had that followed by some drunk redneck on the side of the bar saying (and the look on his face shows he really DOES think he is the VERY first in the world to come up with such wit),,,,,,"ahhhh'lll give ya sex on the beach alraghhht", i would be a very rich man.

memo to redneck sitting on the side of the bar on any given night.

A)You are 52 ,

B)balding,(yes in spite of that attempted combover of your last 32 hairs you ARE still balding),

C)In spite of you proudly tapping your gut and pointing out with pride your philosophy of "the hell with the six pack i own the whole keg" that is NOT a good thing.

D) do us all a favor,,,,come here, i will tell you where the strip club is(you are GOING to ask anyways i can see it a mile away)and you can go mess with them since they are not allowed to run away shivering.

yes you,,,,come here,,,,,,lean in a bit closer........."SHUT THE HELL UP YOU ARE MAKING ALL YOUR FELLOW MEN LOOK BAD!"

with that in mind and as they pay their tab and leave i cant help saying a little prayer.

Dear God,

we have more than enough idiots in the world. With that in mind PLEASE dont let the next popular show feature women drinking "Screaming orgasms" cause Joe Redneck will surely go crazy.


Who says Television only effects kids?


christine said...

"They look at each other for permission(customers ALWAYS do this though I don’t know why) and agree to have another round." - Wow, you're right, I'm guilty of that too. Hmmm interesting.

By the way, have you heard of Blooks? Check this out:

Cate said...

Oh, the psychology of your job . . . tons of material there! I enjoyed this post--some really astute observations!

Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog! You made my evening!

Jaye Wells said...

I love that you're taking on the red neck sex machines on behalf of other men. The bar psychology is fascinating. Can't wait to read more of your insights.

Ally said...

Great post. I'm looking forward to reading more of your observations.

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