defending the doughnut munchers

Doughnut munchers

I am sitting at the bar the other night and had a visit from a few semi regulars. One of the ladies in the group had apparently gotten a ticket on her way to work that morning and safe to say she was not happy about it at all.

Understandable, right? NOone likes getting a ticket. I went about doing my job and trying to get the night over with. However, she just refused to shut up about it and kept going on and on and on, till before long her tirade had pretty much deteriorated to the point of putting cops down for one reason or another. As I am delivering her next round of drinks she said

“so BD, what do you think?”

Placing her drink in front of her I smile and respond, “ I plead the fifth on the grounds that it may incriminate me” and try to laugh it off.

“seriously, what do you think?”

“you don’t really want to know what I think, you won’t like the answer.”

She persists, to the point that I finally say,

“Okay” waving bye bye to my tip and not really caring “honestly, I think you are wrong but that is just my opinion.”

She looks to her friends with a “can you believe this guy?” expression on her face and turns back to me.

“which part, which part is it you disagree with?”

“like I said, you don’t really want to know.”

“yes I do, I really want to know.”

I think it over for a few seconds, weighing how politically correct I want to be, weighing whether I want to get into what, if she takes offense could easily turn into a flat out argument. After all, I am at work and arguments with guests are always frowned upon. Then again, I like arguing, errrrrrrrrrrr debating when I feel I am right and we have had a few serious arguments errrrrrr discussions before so ‘Screw it’ I think and leap right in.

“okay” I finally stammer, hoping she is willing to ‘agree to disagree’ if it comes to that.

“all of it!”

(enter shocked looks here) I can see it on her face , the faces of her friends and even feel it on my own as well….

“so, you think cops SHOULD be able to use their vehicles when they are off duty?” she asks dumbfounded.

“absolutely!”

“bu,,,,but but why?”

“why not?” I ask.

“duh(yes she actually said duhhhhh and I am momentarily dragged nostalgically back to high school ) we shouldn’t have to pay for that!”

“and by ‘WE’ you mean tax payers I presume?”

“yes, we shouldn’t have to pay for the gas and such while they are off duty!”

“okay” I ask, “what is the very first thing you do the second you see a cop car?”

Continuing without awaiting a reply, I say “you slow down,”

“ you put your seat belt on”

“you make sure you are using your blinkers”

“you put away your cell phone and in general drive more safely. So even if they ARE off duty, in some small way just the fact the car is out there and visible helps ,,,,THAT is why they are allowed, and THAT is why I have no problem with it.”


I think for a second, and continue,

“Plus,,,,the benefits far out weigh the costs, think about it and imagine two identical streets in two imaginary neighborhoods,,,,,one of them has two police cars parked on it and the other doesn’t…..which street do think is more likely to have a burglary, coke dealers, prostitutes and such?” “hell I wish like hell I had a cop car parked in the driveway of the houses on each side of me.”

I can see that she sees the point but isn’t giving up yet.

“still we shouldn’t have to pay for their gas while they go about shopping and such.”

“if they were taking long trips to california on vacation I would be the first to agree with you, but locally(which if I am not mistaken they are limited to), I have no problem with it.”

“so you actually think that taxpayers should pay for it?”

“didn’t you say that you got a ticket this morning? Isn’t that what has you all upset in the first place?”

“yes, that bastard could have given me a warning!”

“how much was your ticket?”

“83 freaking(not the word she used but this is a mostly clean blog) dollars!”

“well, that is $83 dollars less that us tax payers who DIDN’T do anything wrong have to pay for gas.”

“yes, but the asshole could have just given me a warning”

“and then cost the taxpayers that you are so vehemently worried about $83 more dollars? Which way do you want it? You can’t have it both ways….”

“Go to hell BD, go to hell” she says laughing.