Random thought for the day: don’t forget to spay or neuter your pets, Bob barker from the price is right as urged people to do this for years. As an animal lover I agree with the whole concept but my question is this. When you take your dog for instance in to get spayed or neutered (I can never remember which is which), why oh WHY do we say ‘yep I’m taking scruffy in to get fixed”?
Let’s view this quickly through the day in the life of scruffy. Scruffy wakes up one morning ….. He greets his owner yawns, makes a quick trip to the water bowl…..Lays around the house for a bit……Thinks, hmmmm maybe I had a bit too much of that water looks over at his owner with a “ummm you better let me out’ look…… Heads outside, rolls around in some leaves,,,,greets his favorite tree by hiking his leg, ahhhhh MUCH better!,,,,, tries to say hello to the cat who ignores and avoids him as always,,,,, that’s okay I didn’t like you ANYWAYS you stuck up bitch!”….comes back inside ”,,,,lays around the house some more….
Strolling around the house spots his favorite pillow laying there on the floor….
Turns on the charm full blast and says in his most masculine doggy voice,,,, “hey baby,,,,,whats YOUR sign” …. “you know…. you are looking particularly fine today’,,,,, ,,,,notices the pillow didn’t run away like the cat…..mistaking this for intrest he mounts it and begins humping when he realizes,,,,, wait,,,,,something,,,,, something just isn’t quite right here…… adjusts his position and begins going to town yet again. What the hell???? ……runs to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror….cusses because he cant reach it …..then realizing wait “I DON’T NEED NO STINKIN MIRROR!” Heads back into the living room glancing at his owner as he passes,,,, gloats ‘you got opposable thumbs but I can LICK mysef so hah!” ……Lays down and begins to check out the merchandise…… “ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!”….
Now I ask you ,,,,,is scruffy saying “oh okay I got fixed?” ORRRRR is he screaming “oh shit, I got BROKEN!!!!”
Is he thinking “dear sweet owner of mine thank you for getting me fixed’ orrrrrr is he thinking “ You bastard, wait till I poop in your slippers!”
Is he thinking “I loveeeee the price is right’ orrrrrrrr “SCREW YOU BOB BARKER!”
Fixed? I think not!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Posted by briliantdonkey at 1:08 AM