sign sign everywhere a sign

I was in my car the other day doing a bunch of errands on my day off. As I pulled up to the red light something made me look over to my right at the car(actually a minivan) that had just pulled up next to me. It was just your standard, run of the mill mini van. On the side of the door was one of those little magnetic signs you see all the time. Some say 'avon salesman' , 'Joe blows crab shack', Radio shack.....whatever you get the picture. This one had a picture of those big machines that kids climb into and jump around in. I seem to recall these being called a 'moonwalk' in my younger days. Anyways, apparently this car belongs to a family that rents these things out to people who may be having a birthday party or the like. I found that fairly interesting, but all in all it was no biggie. The name of the company was 'Terry and Alice's bouncy toys' or something to that effect.

Again, no biggie.......

However, the way the sign was printed it showed a really large T ..........followed by a much smaller 'erry' with again a much larger A followed by smaller fonts 'lices'. Kind of like this only bigger of course:

T erry & A lice's
giant bouncy toys
available for group parties,get togethers
call 555-5555



Again,,,,,,,no biggie.

As the light turned green and the minivan pulled away though it only took a few seconds before the only thing that was visible was T & A bouncy toys.

Maybe I am just loony(I have admitted to this many times before), but I found this to be quite comical. The 'moonwalk' in my mind from my childhood memories was suddenly replaced by a giant blowup doll.......

I can picture the invitations.........Junior will be 12 this year. We hope you will join us in celebration. There will be food, drinks, and T&A toys will be brought in as well......

I wonder how many fathers who normally send the moms and kids to such things would actually show up for this party in hopes of finding a lil T and perhaps a bit of A as well?

I envision even the dead beat dads out there would show up.....

I wonder how many mom's would say "hmmmm giant T&A toys, size don't matter my arse!" and quickly dialed the number to say they would be there?

I see instead of a load of children bouncing around in delight, a group of parents doing the same as their children play pin the tail on the donkey.

Like I said, my mind just goes off on tangents like that.......calle me crazy, you wouldn't be the first.


BD

Two birds, one stone, a post Christmas post part one

I hope everyone had a very merry and safe Christmas. Me? Mine was so so. As usual, I ended up working. It was in a different place than I have been for the past several years so I guess that is a step in the right direction. The ironic(in a 'piss you off sort of way') part is I was at the last place for almost 15 years. The whole time I pushed to be closed on either Thanksgiving or Christmas if not both. This year I move on, and what do you know? THEY were CLOSED this year. S.O.B's!

Anyways, it was busy, quite busy as expected. This caused me to wonder as I always do this time of year if anyone cooks at home for the holidays anymore. But I am not whining, at least not as much as I usually do. I handled it fairly well in fact. All in all, it really wasn't all that bad. I think I even managed to avoid giving the 'what the HELL are you doing here today, it is YOUR FREAKING fault I am working you bastard' death stare to all but a very few people. Those few, if mind reading is anything BUT a myth will be staying home next year and cooking a tv dinner I think.

That said, my Christmas was all in all pretty darn good. I got a fair amount of clothes, and other things that I needed. Some of the clothes were too big, some of them were too small and some of them are flat out ugly to tell the truth.

Best of all though, I got to spend time with someone I care a great deal about. I may have to start calling her 'Goldilocks' cause as usual unlike the aforementioned world's ugliest sweater, she fits just right so I am happy. We watched a movie,"The whole nine yards" and it was pretty good, but the company was outstanding so I tip my cap to Santa on that one.

What else? I managed to kill two birds with one stone over the holiday weekend. I have always contended that I am so NOT a good present picker outer. I have almost ZERO imagination when it comes to this sort of thing. In fact, the ugly sweater I mentioned above, I am fairly certain it is the one I gave to someone else in the family 4 years ago. A re-gifter is in our midst! Of this I have NO doubt. The only question is how many? I wonder if this ugly sweater was passed around twice before unwittingly being given back to me. It is utterly imperative that I find this out. Any ideas on how I can do that please leave in the comment section. No, no, I am not going to cuss anyone out. You won't need to feel responsible for anyone getting in trouble. I just need to know because SOMEONE is getting it next year, and I want to make sure it isn't someone that has had it before. That would be just wrong! See? think of your ideas as a public service to them. So anyways, like I said, I am a lousy gift picker outer.

I have mentioned in a number of posts that my new work location is out in the middle of no where. "Biffy"(B.F.E) as I call it, really does not do this place justice. You know how people make pollack jokes? Have you ever wondered who polish people make their jokes about? You know how people make blonde jokes? Who do Blondes make jokes about? These are mysteries that I still as of yet do not know the answer to. However, if you were ever wondering who people living in B.F.E. talk about when they are saying someone lives in the middle of no where I think I have found the answer. They speak of MY Biffy. Of this I am fairly certain. So anyways, there I am doing some last minute gift shopping. For purposes of clarification, in the world of briliant donkey last minute gift shopping means ummmmmm ALLLLL of it.

Procrastinate,,,,,,,it is what I do.

to be continued

Two birds, one stone, a post Christmas post(part deaux)

So there I am finally having finished all my shopping and proud of myself for not losing it in the middle of wally world. Promising myself next year I would NOT wait until the last minute. KNOWING I am lying, but lying to myself just the same. Then it hits me. That 'what the hell am I forgetting' feeling I had the whole time I was in the store was finally explained. I was supposed to get the 20 or so fellow employees at work a card and a little something. Nothing big, nothing major just a little something that would allow me to hope the whole 'it is the thought that counts' thing not being just a load of bull would do. While in Wally world, I remembered the cards, and had intended to buy a little small candle thingy or something like that. Yet here I was driving home with nothing like it so now I am cussing at the thought of going back in that store.

With every word that comes out of my mouth, I envision Santa shaking his head and pulling back one gift. I suspect a few of the words may have even caused him to make sure I got the sweater again.

And then there it was. A big blue and yellow beacon in the sky.

My savior.

A Blockbuster store, right next to walmart.

Brain:But gift cards are soooo impersonal!

me: Says who? I LOVE gift cards, have you ever seen someone return one?

Brain:but blockbuster?

Me: sure! who doesn't like a good movie?

Brain: the candle idea was a good one, you just don't want to go back in wally world! tsk tsk
I have to say I am quite dissappointed. Just when I thought your were ready to get into the spirit of Christmas and do something really nice and thoughtful too.

Me: Arrrghhh! Okay we can go back to wally world, but don't make a habit of pulling this guilt trip shit on me!

Brain: Good, it is the right thing to do.

Me: You do realize this causes other problems dont you? I don't want to hear it in a while when you start to complain.

Brain: Complain? me? about what?

Me: The candle thing has other problems.....If there is anything we do worse than picking gifts, it is wrapping them and this means trying to wrap 20 little oddly shaped things.

Brain: and?

Me: Anddddd, this means twenty different times you trying to instill some sort of coordination into the fingers. Twenty potential times you will have to get upset when they ignore your instructions and put the paper on inside out. Twenty potential times you will have to tell them to stop laughing and goofing off and get the job done, so we can get some rest. But you are right 'it IS the right thing to d......

Memo from: Brain

Memo to: arms, feet, hands, anyone else that will listen

Subject: Urgent message

"Blockbuster is ahead on the right, turn fools turn!!!!!!!"

So, 10 minutes and several $5 blockbuster gift cards later I sat at home stuffing envelopes and happy with myself. That reverse psychology class I took really comes in handy once in a while.

The next day at work I hand out the cards, each with a gift card in them. My nephew pulls me aside,and can't stop laughing.

Finally, he pulls himself together enough to say one of our catch phrases:

"You are in Biffy now"

This is something we always say to each other when we see something 'small townish'.

For example:

see someone driving down the road on a lawn mower......"you're in Biffy now"
see the latest newspaper edition hit the stands(once a week btw)....."you're in biffy now"
customer asks to put up a 'lost pet' sign that turns out to be for a pig named mable?

"you're in biffy now"

So I look at him, not comprehending, thinking he has just seen something small townish and is about to tell me about it.


"you know, I am not complaining, (enter more laughter here) but you of all people will be able to appreciate this."

"what?"

"Ummm,,,,,,Biffy? Biffy doesn't have a blockbuster. "

"What? Who on earth does NOT have a blockbuster."

"Biffy!"

"But, but" I stammer,,,,"But they have a walmart! EVERY walmart has a blockbuster right next to it! You can't have a walmart and not have a blockbuster beside it! It is like peas without the carrots, peanut butter without jelly, it is just a fact of life! It is a LAW damnit! Who the hell doesn't have a Blockbuster?"

"Like I said, Biffy, Those laws don't apply here, How many times do I have to tell you Biffy is a whole other world" he smirks at me.

I am convinced he is pulling my leg, so I google it in my cellphone thinking surely even if Biffy doesn't have one, there HAS to be one within one of the next small towns over.

As it turns out, the nearest Blockbuster is 38.5 miles away from biffy. I feel a commercial coming on here:

Blockbuster gift card: $5.00
hour and a half spent going to and from: $9.00(even for a min wage worker)
Gas for your trip: $8.00
Cost to do it all again to return movie(even on time): $23.00

Proving beyond a shadow of the doubt I am the worst gift picker outer ever AND that
Biffy truly IS in the middle of NOOOOwhere: Priceless!

BD

We have moved(temporarily)

If you are looking for a post from me here I am guest blogging over at Cardiac Fantasies today. Head on over, and check out the awesome list of guest bloggers he has lined up this week.

Oh, and check mine out too while you are there.


Edited to add: apparently there have been technical difficulties. His email is fighting with my email or something like that who knows? Anyways I just resent it his way so hopefully it works this time

BD

Ramblings about blogs

In the comments section of my latest post Michael over at the Cardiac E.R invited me to be a guest blogger on his blog. He wrote :

:::BD, you are formally invited, (with witnesses present) to be a Guest Bloggger at the Cardiac ER. Let me know.Michael :::


First,

Michael I accept and would be glad to do so.

Second,

If I can screw up YOUR blog, and prove that screwing up mine is no fluke maybe I can start my own business.

Third,

Trying to follow up the like of fringes, and Mist. I ain't skeered! Terrified perhaps would be more like it. Guess I will find out how that william wong(I think that was his name) guy of American Idol infamy felt. Knowing I will be the worst of the bunch and moving forward anyways..........Good therapy or Bad strategy? I don't know, stay tuned.

Fourth,

You said, Quote "with witnesses present". And did so on MY blog. Just an FYI, this is Briliant donkey. What you meant was 'witness' as I only have one reader. Thanks mom!

Fifth,

Thanks for the invite.


In other blog related rambling stuff:

I have finally done caught up on some of the administrative stuff that I have been putting off.
A number of new links have been added to my sidebar, so if you are looking for other fabulous blogs to read I invite you to check them out. To those of you who should have had a link added long ago, my apologies for it taking so long. Six days till Christmas and I haven't bought one single gift yet. Procrastinate,,,,,,,,it is what I do.


Wow, I just went back and re-read that last statement. "I have finally done caught up....." Did I really just type that? I have mixed emotions about reading that statement. 1)My high school Grammar teacher would poop his pants and 2)Shit, working in Biffy(B.F.E) is starting to rub off on me!

Thanks to Christine from Ramblings of a Gypsy Soul and Fringes of sarcastic fringehead for telling me about bloglines. For the two people left out there who don't know about this check it out. All your favorite blogs listed in one place with alerts to when they are updated! This could be a Nifty little tool!

whoa! (enter horror flashbacks of my first three sexual experiences here!)

Is there a program out there to do the same thing as far as tracking comments?

I have a confession to make:

I AM a computer idiot! HTML, RSS, and all that stuff? I just don't get it. Truthfully I probably understand it more than I give myself credit for, but fear screwing something up more than anything. For example when I recently changed over to the new blogger beta, I somehow managed to lose all kinds of stuff(technorati, a few links etc;). Most of it is fixed but who knows what I may discover is missing tomorrow?

Anyways, I have been thinking for a while about adding or changing the main picture on my blog. You know like a logo type thing. There are a few problems with that:

1)I really am not sure what I want though am thinking along the lines of a cartoon of a donkey( Ass) wearing a cap and gown and perhaps even kicking that extra "L" in brilliant out of the way. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

problem 2) I have less than zero Artistic ability so drawing something like that myself is clearly out of the question. Any ideas there?

problem 3) IF I CAN find such a picture/drawing I have no idea how to change it and add it to the blog In place of or near the title page.

Other than that I don't see a problem at all. Lol

until next time,

BD

dissappointed to say the very least

This is like Pete Rose all over again. As a Kid Pete Rose, also known as 'Charlie Hustle' was one of my biggest heroes. I had posters, I had cards,

and pictures........

and pictures of cards.......

As a baseball player, I tried to hit like him. I tried to run like him. I tried(usually unsuccessfully) to slide like him. Pete Rose was to say the least, the man!

Finding out he had been betting on baseball and compromising the integrity of the game was and is a serious dissapointment. Now, I am whole heartedly in the 'he should NEVER EVER be allowed into the hall of fame' category.

Idolization=over

This is O.J simpson all over again. Again, as a kid I idolized this guy. Again, more posters, again more cards, hell I even loved his commercials, and his movies even if his acting left more than a little to be desired. I did a post back in October titled "I am walter Payton." To sum up my thinking on "the juice" as a kid I can only say.......IF that story had happened before that whole circus show it would have been titled "I am the juice" instead.

I won't get into a debate about whether he did or did not kill his wife. I think that argument is fairly(though certainly not completely) split down racial lines and I would much rather not go there. He faced his day in court, and won.....As far as I am concerned end of story as far as murder charges go. However, during that trial we also found out with ZERO doubt(in my mind at least) that at the very least he is/was guilty of beating the shit out of his wife.

I rank anyone that abuses their spouse or children(especially my fellow man but women as well) a few rungs down the ladder from pond scum.

It amazes me how many people(read men) try to justify this. Memo to all my fellow men out there.

If the building is on fire ......

If your wife or child is in such a panic that the ONLY way to help them is for you to literally knock them out and carry them to safety, by all means do what you have to do.

If a crazy woman is trying to kidnap your children or holding your wife hostage and you get the chance to knock her ass out........by all means, do what you have to do.

Other than that or another reallllllly extenuating circumstance take your justification and shove it up your arse.

Don't give me "she made me do it."

Don't give me "I was drinking".

Save your excuses,It is pretty simple 2nd grade playground education.......Boys don't hit girls.

In the case of you O.J. , no thanks I don't want your autograph, your picture, or an autographed picture. Some where in the world there is a dump with plenty of pictures,posters and such of you and Pete making what I can only hope is at least a good compost heap. Hope yall keep each other company....

Idolization=over

And then the latest,

Anyone who knows me, or has even read my blog for any period of time knows that I am a big Seinfeld fan.
Anyone who has known me for more than two minutes knows that the above statement is a HUGE understatement.

I have every dvd that has come out so far. Before that, I had EVERY single episode in the history of the show taped manually,

on vcr tapes,

edited without commercials, and re-recorded onto other tapes IN order from the first to the last.

I have seen every episode several times over to say the least. Whats that? I have too much time on my hands? guilty your honor, what can I say.

Former co-workers of mine used to play a 'lets see just how wierd BD is' game while pretending to be impressed. They would put an episode on one of the televisions at work(no sound) point to it and ask me what was going on. More often than not I could watch for a few minutes, and not only tell you the gist of the episode, but likely quote almost word for word what lines the actors were going through at the time. Weird? I know, but like I said, guilty your honor.

Phrases like 'yada yada yada',,,,,,,'master of my domain',,,,,and 'there was shrinkage!" are all regular parts of my vocabulary. To say the least I am a big Seinfeld fan. That fandom took a big hit for me in the last week or so.

By now most people have probably heard all about the big racial outburst by Michael Richards(who plays Kramer on the show). I too had heard about it, but hadn't actually heard the details until recently. I had seen something about Jesse Jackson of all people coming to his defense and was relieved to think something along the lines of 'phewwwww,,,,,well this must have been something that got misquoted or blown out of proportion after all Jesse has his back.' Then I heard and saw the outburst myself the other day and can't help but wonder what the HELL is Jesse doing? All I can say is wow. WOW. As a white male, I was offended, and more than a little dissappointed.

Congratulations Michael,
Perhaps I will still enjoy Seinfeld the show eventually, but Cosmo Kramer will never be quite as funny to me again. If worst comes to worst and you end up on the same compost pile maybe you Pete, and Orinthal will be able to keep each other company.


BD

I don't do doctors

This post inspired by a recent trip to the ER.....

In life there is not much about it that you can consider a lock, a given, for sure. One thing I do feel pretty sure about is at some point I am going to hear the phrase "well BD, you have a fatal case of (enter name here). It will be at this point he will look at me,shake his head and say

"had you only come in 4 years ago when the symptoms started" that hangnail wouldn't have killed you but now? now you are in deep doo doo.

I just don't do Doctors that is all there is to it. There are a lot of reasons for this.

No, I am not scared of needles they don't bother me in the least.

First off, knock on wood, I am fortunate enough to very rarely get sick. In the last 8 years or so I have missed exactly one day of work for being sick and that was about 3 or 4 months ago. In my younger days I think I missed a total of 5 days of school due to sickness from grades 6 through 12. That is not to say I had perfect attendance all of those years(though a few I did). My mom had a rule, Stay home from school sick, plan to be sick ALL day.......none of this 'oh it is 4:30pm and I suddenly feel better can I go play outside shit'. I HATED being pent up in the house so even if I did feel under the weather, off to school I would go just so I wouldn't be stuck in the house missing all those precious daylight hours.

Secondly,

The few times I HAVE gone to the doctors turned out to be a collosal waste of time for the most part. NOTE: this of course excludes the 6 stitches in the front of my head, the 8 staples in the back left side of my head,(Mom? so why is it you were always telling me to quit horse playing anyways? I never did get that) or the broken wrist all of which clearly needed a Dr's attention.

And then there are things such as:

I am home on two week's leave from the army just before I am getting stationed in Germany. I had big plans.

Parties,

hanging out with friends.....

sleeping till noon......

mom's home cooking.......and the like.

As big as the things I planned to HAVE during this leave were, some of the things I WOULDN'T have were every bit as exciting to me at the time.

no powdered mess hall eggs or M.R.E.s(aka meals ready to eat aka: cardboard food)

no stupid son of a B*tch banging on a garbage can to wake me up at 3:30 am.

errrrrrr,,,, I mean I LIKE IT!
I LOVE IT!
I want more of it, drive on drill sergeant drive on! Hooooooah!

No running up hills.....
No running down hills......
No running around hills........
No police calls on hills........
No digging holes in hills.....
No filling holes in on hills.......

Being as I was back in Florida in fact, it is safe to say there would BE no hills bigger than my driveway.

you get the general Idea. So there I am at home, prepared to relax yayyyyy. Mom didn't let me down at all. There was more good food than I could have possibly imagined, life was good. Life was damned good.

12 pm or so: I am comfortably sleeping in my bed which....

won't have to be made so tightly you can bounce a quarter off of it.

has enough covers and pillows to get lost in.

my socks are NOT rolled up individually, OR lined up like perfect little soldiers. Instead they are laying on the floor where ALL young men's socks SHOULD be damnit!

So anyways 98% asleep I roll over and scratch an itch on my arm. Sensing something is wrong by the extra elbow that seems to be there I eventually wake up fully, turn on the light, and am shocked, stunned, horrified to see I am covered I mean COVERED in bumps.

We are not talking about mosquito bites here

Not talking mosquito bites on steroids either.

I am talking welts, BASEBALL sized welts, that I have apparently been scratching the hell out of in my sleep while thinking 'ahhh its an itch or a mosquito bite is all.'

I wind up going to the Emergency Room in the middle of the night.

Can someone please explain to me why oh WHY do they call this thing an Emergency room? After the recent visit and being told with a straight face "it will probably be 6 hours till someone sees you" I can think of several names that seem much more appropriate.

How about:

The "if you have a pulse you are in the wrong place" room.

The "hope you brought a book cause you are going to be here a while" room?

The "Emergency Schmergency" room?

The "hope you plan to WRITE a book cause planning to read a book isn't long enough" room?

The "Drivers license bureau ain't got shit on US" room?

The "we had to go through 33 years of school the least YOU can do is wait 12 hours" room?

The "your Doctor will be in to see you as soon as he graduates" room.

Any other suggestions? feel free to leave em in comments.


Anywhoooo, Eventually, I get in to see the doctor.

Dr: "Hi, Bd, what seems to be the problem?"

BD: (thinking how about I sneeze on you with this extra nose that seems to be growing out of my cheekbone and then you take three guesses)

DR: "Oh, I see." He takes a look at my various welts, "Have you had any new foods, shellfish or used any new detergents, colognes or anything like that recently?"

BD: "so it IS just some sort of allergic reaction?"

Dr: " Oh yes, no doubt about it a rather serious one apparently. Anything you can think of?"

BD: "Well, I did have some strawberry pop tarts this morning, which I have never had, about a pound and a half of boiled shrimp tonight, but I have had those lots of times, and a coconut dessert(which I hated by the way)."

Dr: "okay well it was probably one of those, here is what we are going to do. I am going to write you a prescription, from the size of them you will probably have to deal with it for about a week or so before they are entirely gone."

BD: "a week?"

Dr: "maybe not, but sorry to say it will likely be MORE than that."

BD: "that sucks! I am on leave for two weeks! You can't tell me what it was?"

Dr: "no, but after they go away try the things you suspect again and see if they cause the same reaction, then you will know what you need to avoid."

I make no claims whatsoever of being the smartest guy in the universe, but I DO pick up on some things rather quickly.

I am sure there must have been a time (though I was too young to remember) that I reached out, touched a hot stove and got burned. Even my two month old brain picked up on it pretty quickly.....

Problem:burning hand.

Probable cause: hot stove.

solution: don't touch hot stove again.

I suspect this Doc, would have said "hmmmm little bd, I think it was the stove, but wait till the swelling goes down, then go touch it again to make sure."


There was a time as a young lad when I thought it would be okay to go without underwear.

One unfortunate zip up,

One horrifying scream,

One embarrassing to this day enlistment of help from mom to dislodge,

followed by another horrified scream and my 7 or 8 year old brain picked up on that too pretty quickly.

Problem: weenie stuck

Probable cause: Going commando

Solution: Do like mom says, always wear clean underwear!

Would this doctor have said : "well BD, I think it was the zipper, but hey go zip it up in there a few more times,,,,,,,justttttt to be sure. And while you are at it, crack yourself in the nuts with this reflex hammer just for good measure, that will be $300"?



waiting 4 hours in the ER pissed me off.....

spending most of the next week pent up in the house pissed me off to say the least.....

The itching pissed me off

The doctor bill I eventually got pissed me off

But what pissed me off most even to this day was the advice.

33 years of schooling and THAT IS what you come up with? "Go home and after this absolute misery ends try the things you suspect again to see which one triggers it?"

Um in a word, "NO".

If "I think you may be allergic to your girlfriend but the only way to find out is to try again" was the case, I would be willing to heed such advice and risk it, welts be damned.

Note: let it never be said I am not willing to say the kinds of things that make women's hearts go all pitter patter.


"BD, you seem to be allergic to football, but the only way to know for sure is to try it again and see." If this were the advice, I would possibly risk it.....



But for strawberry poptarts? and coconut?

Um in two words, "HELL NO!"

How about this advice instead?

Please follow these instructions closely......

1)make list of suspected foods, items etc;

2)avoid them

thats it.........nothing more nothing less needs to be done.


However,........................


In case you are looking For that 'real doctor visit feel' you may try the following

3) spend 7 hours sitting in your living room, reading 12 year old magazines, and watching the worst television shows you can find.

4)Have a different neighbor pop in once every hour or so, spend a minute looking at you and tell you that someone else will be with you shortly.

5)send yourself a bill for $482.

Advice from a High School(not even a very good one) graduate:

Let us review.

1)make list of suspected items

2) avoid them

tada!

(enter voice over here) Please note that no Doctors were hurt during this post. Also note: While I am NOT a Doctor, I DO occasionally play one in my blog.


BD

tagged

James over at Burnettiquette tagged me with the following meme.

Here are the rules: Each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things about You." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog!"

Okay first of all,,,,,,six? just six? I could do six without even thinking but I suppose that will be enough. Some may consider some of them wierd, super wierd, or maybe not at all but here goes.

-I have an irrational fear of snakes. Not your common garden variety normal fear, but major MAJOR kind. I live in Florida "never more than 110 miles from the beach" as some old song says. When I go to the beach I don't worry about Jaws no matter how many times I have seen the movie or newsclippings about shark attacks. However, let something brush up against my foot and I WILL walk on water back to the shore, with visions of snakes dancing in my irrational mind. I used to visit my oldest brother's house every summer when I was a kid. One time I walked around the side of the house and saw a black snake. In my mind that snake is STILL chasing me. He had that house until about 2 years ago and I even rented it from him for about 3 years. Since that ripe young age of 8 or nine I never EVER went on THAT side of the house again. People have often said something along the lines of 'it's just a garden snake it won't hurt you',,,,,,being older I at least have to agree with them. But that doesn't eliminate the very real possibility of me hurting myself to get away from them.

-I am painfully, excruciatingly shy....... I would have thought I would have grown out of this by now, but at 38 it is still going quite strong.

food:

-,I mix my foods like nobody else I know. It all started with mashed potatoes and corn which is the ONLY way to eat it and went down hill from there.

-I absolutely refuse to touch my food with my hands for the most part(ie;pushing it onto the fork using my thumb).......I read a book when I was young about a kid doing this and having a tree grow out of his thumb.........I haven't done so since. Eating fried chicken, pizza, burgers and such noooooo problem but you would have to torture me to make me push something onto a fork with my thumb nowadays(and since I was like 6)

-I can cook........Not all that wierd till you consider I am a male, STRAIGHT male, with(until veryyyyyy recently) ZERO training in doing so. It isn't that I LIKE to cook per se but I DO like to eat and the food wasn't cooking itself.

-One of my very favorite foods even though I make my own spagetti sauce, grill a mean steak, pot roast (when I remember the most important step at least), and countless other dishes is a simple 50 cent banquet pot pie. LOVE em!

- I will almost wig out if I sit at a table that has just been wiped down but still wet. Drives me bonkerrrrrrrrrrrrs. Short drive I know, I know.

-apparently counting to six is NOT my strong suit.

Okay now to tag 6 peeps, Gypsy soul, Michael, Roadchick, Alyndabear, Fringes, Mist

consider yourselves tagged.

BD