Friday, September 28, 2007

If dogs could talk

Sometimes it is hard to get what your pet is trying to tell you. With practice though, it is kind of funny how you can pick up on how certain body language means 'pet me' or "hey your home nice to see you!" It can range from "when you get the chance I kind of have to tinkle"(I am not sure why I imagine Kash to have a british accent when I get that look but I do).

It can be as simple as "I have to go".

or as urgent as "no no, don't finish reading that paragraph and then let me out I HAVE TO GO RIGHT FREAKING NOW!"

It can be as polite as "excuse me, but did you happen to notice my water dish is getting low" to "hey dipshit if you don't refill it soon I am going to drink out of the toilet JUST so I can pee on the floor!" It is kind of odd how over time you can pick up on this sort of thing.

I often wonder if they are only in my mind. However I am pretty sure Kash and I just had the following interaction.

Kash: "hey your home, cool! and No, I DON'T have to think about it to make my tail wag like this, it just happens. How many times we going to have this talk?"

Me: "hey girl, you gotta go outside"

Kash: "sure, but no rush, ,,,,,take your time, get undressed, youve had a long day."

10 minutes later she returns and is back to her lazy calmed down self.

me: "you hungry?" She usually answers to "kash" but always ALWAYS answers to 'you hungry' or "do you want this?"I wonder if she thinks THAT is her name?

Kash(perk),,,,,,(tail now wagging the dog) She follows closely behind me as I go in the other room with her dish.

She watches closely, trying to play it cool but clearly barely able to contain herself as I set the dish down in front of her, then looks up at me again.

Kash: "Whats this shit?"

Me: 'what? food"

Kash: "this isn't food, it's kibble!"

Me: "It's dog food"

Kash: "dude, where have you been all day.

Me: "work of course"

Kash: "and you work where?"

Me: "at a restaurant, you know that."

Kash: "and what do you have at that restaurant?

Me: "The usual, steak, potatoes, stuff like that."

Kash: "Eggs? Ribs? Pork chops?"

Me: "ummm yeah, and?"

Kash: "sell a lot of kibble at that restaurant do ya?"

Me: "lol, no"

Kash: "bingo!"


Chris said...

Hilarious stuff! Holding out on the good stuff from Kash, are ya?

Our "not our dog" always shows up when I BBQ.

heather said...

lmao!! god i love kash! she's brilliant. ;-)

ok, ok, you too i suppose.

heather said...

bd, you really want to check this site out, trust me. :-)

Tera said...

You imagine your dog calling you dipshit. Hee hee.

Susan said...

My cats follow me around constantly meowing anymore. I was on the phone with my mother last night:

me: "Oh sweet god WHAT DO YOU WANT??"
phenom(aka big cat): (meow scream)
me: "You're driving me CRAZY. I do NOT speak CAAAAAAAAAAAATTT"
mom: "Susan, seriously, vacation.."