Friday, June 16, 2006

Sometimes it is worth it

So I am working at Hellay (aka Hell A, aka my morning job)this morning. It is a fairly uneventful and slow day. I am down to my last two tables and then cleaning up before I can go home or at least on to Hellbee(see hell A comment above and figure it out.) At one table is an older couple who has finished eating and is getting ready to leave. At the other is a little boy ( I am guessing about 1 if that). He is sitting at the end of the table in a high chair and is flanked on one side by what I presume to be his mother. They have been in here a number of times before but this is the first time I have actually waited on them. Mom is spooning some flavor of Gerber’s baby food into his mouth as much as she can at least. It seems that the little guy(Kyle i found out later) is just wayyyyy toooo enamored with the goings on around him to eat.

As children at that age tend to do he has apparently discovered the law of gravity and is taking his mother’s keys, the crackers, the crayons and anything else he can get his hands on and dropping them over the edge, saying in the cutest voice “UH OH!” followed by the cutest little laugh that can’t help but to be contagious. This has gone on for a while and I have no problem with it at all. In fact, the innocent giggles of delight make the mess I know I will have to clean up worth it. It is easy picturing him in a couple of years (after all boys will be boys) doing the same thing but accompanying it with the sound effect of an approaching mortar grenade. (enter high pitched squeal here,,,,,,,pshheeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww BOOOOOOM!) Judging from the delighted look on his face he may already be thinking the sound, but hasn’t quite figured out how to make it yet is all. Either that or “UH OH” is baby talk for “hey everybody watch how many times I can make her pick this up for me!” Here comes that laugh again.

Anyways, Mom has ordered an appetizer and the salad bar to go with it. While trying to get him fed the appetizer has slowly disappeared. As I said I am cleaning up while keeping half an eye on them to make sure that they don’t need anything. I have all my tables done and am finishing up the last of the bisseling(floor sweeper) except for the area they are sitting in. Realizing I haven’t heard the sound of dropping keys or the inevitable "uh-oh' that follows it for a while I glance over to see that he is now focused on me. I make a couple of little faces at him and googly noises to which he roars with laughter. Finally,,,,,an audience that appreciates my level of humor!!!!

The keys it seems along with the crackers, crayons, mom and even gravity are all forgotten. He is looking at me and this funny little thing I am pushing back and forth across the floor. Mom meanwhile, who is sitting on the other side of him, is trying in vain to get him to look her way so she can feed him. Saying something like “ I guess if I don’t move over here you will never get him fed” I move to the other side of her. This has the expected result as his gaze follows me, and she is able to sneak another bite of crushed peas into his mouth. I look at him thinking “sorry lil man if I would have realized it was crushed peas I wouldn’t have helped, but then again if she can’t get YOU to eat em she may try to make ME so bon appetite!” He may have read my mind cause the "hey let's play some more peek-a-boo" look has clearly been replaced by "you freakin traitor I will get you for this!"
She finally gets him fed, and tells me thank you for doing that as I am refilling her tea and clearing off her appetizer plate.

“Your welcome, works every time” I say. “Were you still going to have the salad bar or did you want me to just take that off your bill?”

She appears to think for a minute and looks around the deserted section somewhat nervously.

“If you would like I can stay here with him and keep him occupied while you go up there”

“Thank you, but he will probably cry as soon as I start to walk away.”

“Not if he doesn’t realize you are gone” I say kneeling down picking up the keys and shaking them on the left side to distract him. Working like a charm again, he proceeds to take them from me and now EYE am the person he is playing the gravity check game with. This goes on for a few minutes before he realizes that mom is gone. Just as she predicted, his face begins to scrunch up and show the unmistakable beginning signs of getting ready to cry. I point to her(only about 8 feet away) and say

“It’s okay,,,,there she is see? Theres mommy”

He follows my finger and for a moment I am certain that a blood curdling scream is coming. With relief I see she is heading back to the table and he apparently sees the same thing cause he stops moments before letting loose with what was clearly going to be a hissy fit. Instead, he lifts out his little arms as if to reach for her.

“Theres mommy” I say……. “can you say Mommmaaa???”,,,,,,,,


“mommmmmma?” I repeat.

“Who is that?” I ask as she slides back into her seat.

“Can you say mommmmma?”

I stand up, as she tells me thank you again, and respond

“oh your welcome,” and jokingly added “ but had I known you were feeding him crushed PEAS I never would have helped with that part…..yuck!!!!!”

Just then Little Kyle lifts his right arm and pointing to her says “Mommmmma!”

I don’t really think much of it and proceed to finish pre bussing her table when I glance at her and see she has tears welling up in her eyes.

“Whoa” I think, “I was really only kidding about the peas comment lady!”

Followed closely by “Great BD you just Hadddd to be a smartass didn’t you?”

I consider my options,,,,,,,A)apologize ,,,,,,B) Run! C)try to talk my way out of it.

I look at Kyle and give him a Help me out here pal I'M the peekaboo guy remember? look.

Kyle just looks at me with a shit eating who is the traitor now hmmmm? look

Finally I stammer, “ummmmmm I’m sorry, I was only kidding about the pea comment but that was out of line” though I was thinking “jeeesh lady take a joke!”

“huh?” she asks and then responds “oh NO!! that’s not what I am crying about,,,,,,,that is just the very first time he has ever said that!!!

Like the title says, Sometimes it IS worth it. Not often mind you, but SOMETIMES indeed.


christine said...

Awww I love this story! I can totally see you making faces at that kid and playing with him. :) You're really a kid at heart and that's one of the things I love about you!

Katrina said...

Hello Rob, I'm from the year 2025, when your blog has finally deserved a readership of three (me being the third).

Your comments on Joey and Christine's (neither of whom I know either) blogs piqued my curiosity so I clicked over here. I must say, you are HILARIOUS! But even better, this entry about the little kid shows you can be quite sweet too. I'll definitely be coming back whenever I need a good laugh...if I have time, that is. You wouldn't believe how stressful the future is! ;-)

briliantdonkey said...


Thanks for the kind words. I am glad you found your way over here and enjoy it. Since you are from the future can you tell no i dont want to know if i ever get rich,,,,or married, or famous,,,,,but can you tell me as i sit here today with a day off....can you tell me if my dishes ever do them selves? I keep waiting for them to and dont want to 'get in the way' if they are going to so please let me know.

Katrina said...

Sorry, Rob, but I have only been given the privilege of interacting with the past on the condition that I do not preempt the events of the future. However, I can tell you this: if you wait long enough, your dishes *will* start to move. You'll just have to hope that they choose to use their newfound motor skills to take a bath.

briliantdonkey said...

a couple of terms come to mind...

1: beggars cant be choosers


2) Close enough for government work.....